The White Mocker

TLDR: ORDER THE SAME SIZE AS YOUR PANTS.

If you’re a 34 in Levis, you’re a 34 in Utilikilts. Done. 

If you haven’t put on a pair pants since 2004 and have been living under a rock since 2015, first of all: Welcome back!

We did away with the “Honest Inch” System awhile ago. Cool as it was, 95% of all returns were due to sizing issues. After the advent of the Switchback, our adjustability feature–made with Military Grade 2″ Velcro combined with a flexible shock cord ‘asset’ (like a corset for your ass)–Utilikilts are now sized within a range of inches, up to 15% of the waistband measurement so now you can wear it out before you grow out of it.

Still not clear? Wrap a tape around your beltline where you plan to wear your kilt.  No, not a metal tape measure, Silly. A seamstress tape.  What’s it say? Put that number in the middle of one of the size ranges below.  The number on your pants does not accurately reflect the measurement in INCHES around your beltline. And now you know.

What about the length of my Utilikilt*?

We make three standard lengths.

TLDR: Taller than 6’4″? you’re a 24.5… Shorter than 5’10”? You’re a 21.5…Everyone else? 23″. Done.

If you are all torso walking on a pair of stumpy legs or the inverse of that, following our handy sizing instructions will get you right where you want to be. The best way to find your fit is by kneeling and measuring your side, from the top of your pants to the floor (like this). Don’t bend your torso while measuring, it skews the reading. You’ll need something stiff (a yardstick, you pervert!), a mirror, or the help of a friend. The waistband should sit on your hips where your pants normally ride. The hem should rest between the bottom and center of the kneecap.