Read The Sizing Instructions, Dammit!!
Requested by adventurer and tattoo historian Vince Hemingson and worn by the original “Survivor” contestant Richard Hatch (O.K., he was naked most of the time, but he totally wore it on TV), the Survival is the most advanced Utilikilt we offer. It’s the Cadillac. Whether you’re climbing a mountain, planning a three-week camping trip into the Black Rock Desert, or just looking for a way to carry 20 bottles of beer, the Survival is the kilt for you.
The Survival features the deep internal slant pockets of the Mocker, plus a pair of detachable side-saddle cargo pockets (each with its own closure flap and belt loops.) These aren’t the Workman Utilikilts, boys and girls. These kilts aren’t designed to take a beating and come out on the other side and thank you for it. You don’t take your Cadillac off-roading like you do your Jeep. But wearing the Survival kilt is an experience all it’s own.
The kilt is constructed from a 6.5oz 100% Cotton Ripstop fabric in Black, Gray, Olive, or Coyote. They also come in a soft and supple 9oz 100% Cotton Twill in Tan or Basil.
Each cargo pocket on the Survival can be pulled off and used like a belt pack. Wading across a river and don’t want to get your stuff wet? Pull off the cargo pockets, stuff the rest of the Utilikilt inside and toss it across to shore. Pockets stuffed full as you get to the airport? Pull off the pockets, drop them on the x-ray conveyor belt, and stride on through the metal detector. Each cargo pocket is equipped with elastic-rimmed gussets, so it’ll expand to fit all your junk, and fold right back to flat after use. Wear the Survival for awhile and you’ll be shocked at just how useful these removable pockets really are.
The two rear pockets don’t come off, but they are elastic rimmed and can hold a heroic amount of stuff. Wear your Survival Utilikilt and you might just leave that Hello Kitty backpack at home.
The Survival’s maximum capacity is 20 Bottles of the survival beverage of your choice. That’s six in the front slant pockets, ten in the cargo pockets and four in the back. With the Survival around your waist, you’ll never go thirsty.
Key clasp on the front of the Survival keeps your massive keychain out of the way and leaves room for more beer in the pockets.
Loop & Toggle Modesty closure system (closes the pleats up while still looking good)
Circular UK trinity logo (Form Follows Function) and “Utilikilts” printed in block letters below.
TLDR: ORDER THE SAME SIZE AS YOUR PANTS.
If you’re a 34 in Levis, you’re a 34 in Utilikilts. Done.
If you haven’t put on a pair pants since 2004 and have been living under a rock since 2015, first of all: Welcome back!
We did away with the “Honest Inch” System awhile ago. Cool as it was, 95% of all returns were due to sizing issues. After the advent of the Switchback, our adjustability feature–made with Military Grade 2″ Velcro combined with a flexible shock cord ‘asset’ (like a corset for your ass)–Utilikilts are now sized within a range of inches, up to 15% of the waistband measurement so now you can wear it out before you grow out of it.
Still not clear? Wrap a tape around your beltline where you plan to wear your kilt. No, not a metal tape measure, Silly. A seamstress tape. What’s it say? Put that number in the middle of one of the size ranges below. The number on your pants does not accurately reflect the measurement in INCHES around your beltline. And now you know.
Switchback Size Chart
|Sizes 2X & 3X||TBA||TBA|
What about the length of my Utilikilt*?
We make three standard lengths.
TLDR: Taller than 6’4″? you’re a 24.5… Shorter than 5’10”? You’re a 21.5…Everyone else? 23″. Done.
|65″ up to 70″||21.5″|
|70″ up to 74″||23″|
|74″ up to 78″||24.5″|
If you are all torso walking on a pair of stumpy legs or the inverse of that, following our handy sizing instructions will get you right where you want to be. The best way to find your fit is by kneeling and measuring your side, from the top of your pants to the floor (like this). Don’t bend your torso while measuring, it skews the reading. You’ll need something stiff (a yardstick, you pervert!), a mirror, or the help of a friend. The waistband should sit on your hips where your pants normally ride. The hem should rest between the bottom and center of the kneecap.