(2 customer reviews)

The Mocker

$200.00

Clear

Article number: MN42TNT21
Read The Sizing Instructions, Dammit!!

Pants are lame, and Dockers® are the lamest pants we can think of. They’re so lame that we decided to come out with a Utilikilt so sleek, clean, and stylish that your Docker wearing friends will cry in secret shame.

When we sat down to design The Mocker, we had two goals in mind:

Design a cleaner, more refined looking Utilikilt that wouldn’t seem out of place at the office or with a shirt and tie.
Put in enough hidden cargo space to please even the most demanding Utilikiltarian.
Deep Internal Slanted Pockets
For the Mocker, we took off the side cargo pockets found on other Utilikilts. (It seemed a shame to hide all those beautiful pleats.) Then we designed absolutely cavernous slanted internal pockets to hold all your gear.

How deep are these pockets? So deep you could lose an arm in them. So deep you might need a flashlight to find that cute girl or guy’s number from the bar. So deep that you can load all the junk you want in there and it’ll all rest comfortably below your “bits.”

And unlike a pair of pants, you can load your Mocker up with a ton of stuff without showing any sort of distracting bulge. The lines of the Mocker stay clean no matter what you carry around.

The Mocker’s pockets have been designed so that when you sit down all your stuff falls safely to the inside of your thigh. These things are secure. No more stuff falling out of your pockets and getting left behind in that restaurant booth. Heck, go ahead and do a cartwheel. You might lose your pride, but your stuff is staying where it’s supposed to.

The Black, Gray, Navy, and Pinstripe Mockers are constructed out of an 7.5 oz, 65/35 Poly/Cotton Twill. The Tan and Basil Mockers are constructed out of 9 oz, 100% cotton Twill.

Buy a Mocker and burn your Dockers® in the name of freedom!!

2 reviews for The Mocker

  1. Rob C Brooklyn

    I live about two hours from Seattle and, while visiting the city this past summer, I bought a Utilikilts Spartan in black. I regretted not buying one of their belts, which round out the overall look very nicely. Last week I took the drive to Seattle specifically to go to Utlikilts and get that belt. I couldn’t resist trying on another kilt style and the Mocker was it – in olive. It looked fantastic and, like my Spartan, felt great. Every detail is well thought out and functional. While wearing a kilt is a definite statement, wearing a Utilikilt gets attention. I had a twenty-something worker in a grocery store compliment them and started asking all sorts of questions about it. He said it looked great and that he like my style. It isn’t often that someone young enough to be my son admires and compliments my fashion. This design is sleeker than the Spartan and can be worn casually, but also dressed up. I have worn it with nice work boots, knee socks, high-end t-shirt, and blazer. It turns heads and when folks get a closer look they realize that this is a unique, masculine fashion.

  2. volcom2278

    I feel like I can conquer the whole world in this thing. Thanks Utilikilts

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TLDR: ORDER THE SAME SIZE AS YOUR PANTS.

If you’re a 34 in Levis, you’re a 34 in Utilikilts. Done. 

If you haven’t put on a pair pants since 2004 and have been living under a rock since 2015, first of all: Welcome back!

We did away with the “Honest Inch” System awhile ago. Cool as it was, 95% of all returns were due to sizing issues. After the advent of the Switchback, our adjustability feature–made with Military Grade 2″ Velcro combined with a flexible shock cord ‘asset’ (like a corset for your ass)–Utilikilts are now sized within a range of inches, up to 15% of the waistband measurement so now you can wear it out before you grow out of it.

Still not clear? Wrap a tape around your beltline where you plan to wear your kilt.  No, not a metal tape measure, Silly. A seamstress tape.  What’s it say? Put that number in the middle of one of the size ranges below.  The number on your pants does not accurately reflect the measurement in INCHES around your beltline. And now you know.

Switchback Size Chart

Kilt Size Smallest Largest
Size 30 31″ 34.5″
Size 32 33″ 37″
Size 34 35″ 39.5″
Size 36 37″ 42″
Size 38 39″ 45″
Size 40 42″ 48″
Size 42 44.5″ 51″
Sizes 2X & 3X  TBA  TBA

 

What about the length of my Utilikilt*?

 

We make three standard lengths.

TLDR: Taller than 6’4″? you’re a 24.5… Shorter than 5’10”? You’re a 21.5…Everyone else? 23″. Done.

 

Height Length
65″ up to 70″ 21.5″
70″ up to 74″ 23″
74″ up to 78″ 24.5″

If you are all torso walking on a pair of stumpy legs or the inverse of that, following our handy sizing instructions will get you right where you want to be. The best way to find your fit is by kneeling and measuring your side, from the top of your pants to the floor (like this). Don’t bend your torso while measuring, it skews the reading. You’ll need something stiff (a yardstick, you pervert!), a mirror, or the help of a friend. The waistband should sit on your hips where your pants normally ride. The hem should rest between the bottom and center of the kneecap.

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