Article number: MN42TNT21
Read The Sizing Instructions, Dammit!!
Pants are lame, and Dockers® are the lamest pants we can think of. They’re so lame that we decided to come out with a Utilikilt so sleek, clean, and stylish that your Docker wearing friends will cry in secret shame.
When we sat down to design The Mocker, we had two goals in mind:
Design a cleaner, more refined looking Utilikilt that wouldn’t seem out of place at the office or with a shirt and tie.
Put in enough hidden cargo space to please even the most demanding Utilikiltarian.
Deep Internal Slanted Pockets
For the Mocker, we took off the side cargo pockets found on other Utilikilts. (It seemed a shame to hide all those beautiful pleats.) Then we designed absolutely cavernous slanted internal pockets to hold all your gear.
How deep are these pockets? So deep you could lose an arm in them. So deep you might need a flashlight to find that cute girl or guy’s number from the bar. So deep that you can load all the junk you want in there and it’ll all rest comfortably below your “bits.”
And unlike a pair of pants, you can load your Mocker up with a ton of stuff without showing any sort of distracting bulge. The lines of the Mocker stay clean no matter what you carry around.
The Mocker’s pockets have been designed so that when you sit down all your stuff falls safely to the inside of your thigh. These things are secure. No more stuff falling out of your pockets and getting left behind in that restaurant booth. Heck, go ahead and do a cartwheel. You might lose your pride, but your stuff is staying where it’s supposed to.
The Black, Gray, Navy, and Pinstripe Mockers are constructed out of an 7.5 oz, 65/35 Poly/Cotton Twill. The Tan Mockers are constructed out of 9 oz, 100% cotton Twill.
Buy a Mocker and burn your Dockers® in the name of freedom!!
TLDR: ORDER THE SAME SIZE AS YOUR PANTS.
If you’re a 34 in Levis, you’re a 34 in Utilikilts. Done.
If you haven’t put on a pair pants since 2004 and have been living under a rock since 2015, first of all: Welcome back!
We did away with the “Honest Inch” System awhile ago. Cool as it was, 95% of all returns were due to sizing issues. After the advent of the Switchback, our adjustability feature–made with Military Grade 2″ Velcro combined with a flexible shock cord ‘asset’ (like a corset for your ass)–Utilikilts are now sized within a range of inches, up to 15% of the waistband measurement so now you can wear it out before you grow out of it.
Still not clear? Wrap a tape around your beltline where you plan to wear your kilt. No, not a metal tape measure, Silly. A seamstress tape. What’s it say? Put that number in the middle of one of the size ranges below. The number on your pants does not accurately reflect the measurement in INCHES around your beltline. And now you know.
Switchback Size Chart
|Sizes 2X & 3X||TBA||TBA|
What about the length of my Utilikilt*?
We make three standard lengths.
TLDR: Taller than 6’4″? you’re a 24.5… Shorter than 5’10”? You’re a 21.5…Everyone else? 23″. Done.
|65″ up to 70″||21.5″|
|70″ up to 74″||23″|
|74″ up to 78″||24.5″|
If you are all torso walking on a pair of stumpy legs or the inverse of that, following our handy sizing instructions will get you right where you want to be. The best way to find your fit is by kneeling and measuring your side, from the top of your pants to the floor (like this). Don’t bend your torso while measuring, it skews the reading. You’ll need something stiff (a yardstick, you pervert!), a mirror, or the help of a friend. The waistband should sit on your hips where your pants normally ride. The hem should rest between the bottom and center of the kneecap.
Fabulous kilt to add to my selection. Love the pockets and the black fabric but the problem I have with it is the bold MOCKER stitched onto the back of the kilt. Why put that on there?
I would much rather have, heck even honored to have the badass Utilikilt logo on the back, instead it just says “MOCKER tm” and nowhere does it indicate that it is a Utilikilt. I’m disappointed.
Caitlyn Villegas (verified owner) –
Thanks for this feedback…we have since changed the Mocker embroidery to say Utilikilts.
I have been wearing my Mocker for all kinds of everyday life, for over fifteen years now. It’s as sturdy today as it was the day it came out of the box. It’s easily my most comfortable garment. I’ve worn it work work at numerous companies and always got compliments on it. I’ve worn it in Ireland, in Amsterdam, all over the Midwest, and points beyond. The Mocker is a workhorse. You should buy one right now.
tduvally (verified owner) –
I now own 2 Mockers and love them! I am a 100% kilter (OK, 98%, due to New England winters) and it’s just so much better than pants.
The 2 huge front pockets give you all the storage of the cargo style without the “cargo pocket” look. Seriously, you can carry a whole wine bottle in them, because I have.
alapiscd (verified owner) –
My husband has been wearing UKs exclusively for well over a decade. He is known in our college town as “the kilt guy”. His go to has always been the “old style” mocker. But alas, the fabric can only take so many washings before getting threadbare and when his love affair with cheese ended as his lactose intolerance developed, he lost some weight and they just didn’t fit right anymore.
He has had some wild experiences in his kilts from getting married (twice, both times to me…a whole different story there) to working with archaeologists and ancient Roman/Byzantine artifacts to walking the battlefields of the Revolutionary War and sitting in George Washington’s church pew. He has worn these kilts all over the country and garnered a lot of attention while doing so. And I have always been super supportive of it. I mean six feet of long haired, trim and fit hotness is just too much for Levi’s to contain…a kilt elevates a man’s swagger (rightly so!) and makes the hips look oh so sexy! In his late 50’s he turns the heads of college girls and I have had to growl “MINE” more times than I can count at festivals.
And then we purchased the new model in December 2021. The kilt was physically constructed well but the fabric has serious faults. The apron looks threadbare and bleached out in spots right out of the bag. The new solid band around the hips took away all of the sexy. I hate it! I got it on sale for Christmas and just want it hidden in the back of his armoire. He currently works from home and personally says the kilt is comfortable for the most part but misses the ease of the slash pockets and really misses the back pockets. Driving is now uncomfortable because he has to have his wallet in the front pocket, which is a tighter fit and at an unnatural angle to get his hands in.
He has mostly gone back to his old kilts. I have adjusted a few of the waistbands to tighten them up some, but sadly, we need to find a good slash pocket kilt for his professional life as the pandemic must surely end at some point. We had hoped to keep it relatively local in the PNW, but this new model is just not going to work for us. He is thinking about trying a different model, but has yet to make a decision on that. I am hoping that with a gentler approach to laundering I may get more mileage out of the old mockers that are still in good condition, but his favorite, in green, is too threadbare in places for it to be anything more than a yard work/home maintenance sort of thing.
We are sad. We love UKs. Please bring the sexy back by redesigning the newer mocker hip-band.
Caitlyn Villegas (verified owner) –
Hey there…sorry to hear you are less than satisfied with your latest purchase. There should not have been flaws in the fabric right from the start. If you would like to send an email to [email protected] we can continue the conversation and find a way to make things right for you.
Rob C Brooklyn –
I live about two hours from Seattle and, while visiting the city this past summer, I bought a Utilikilts Spartan in black. I regretted not buying one of their belts, which round out the overall look very nicely. Last week I took the drive to Seattle specifically to go to Utlikilts and get that belt. I couldn’t resist trying on another kilt style and the Mocker was it – in olive. It looked fantastic and, like my Spartan, felt great. Every detail is well thought out and functional. While wearing a kilt is a definite statement, wearing a Utilikilt gets attention. I had a twenty-something worker in a grocery store compliment them and started asking all sorts of questions about it. He said it looked great and that he like my style. It isn’t often that someone young enough to be my son admires and compliments my fashion. This design is sleeker than the Spartan and can be worn casually, but also dressed up. I have worn it with nice work boots, knee socks, high-end t-shirt, and blazer. It turns heads and when folks get a closer look they realize that this is a unique, masculine fashion.
I feel like I can conquer the whole world in this thing. Thanks Utilikilts